I’m digging in and getting into some nitty gritty here. I’ve had some interesting blog related experiences as of late so I’ve been feeling pretty introspective as far as my blog goes. I’ve learned a lot over the 3 years I’ve been blogging and feel that I have a lot to share about it. Both good and bad. So I’m going behind the blog scenes for a while. But I’m going to start here. With, how do I do it?
I get asked this question all the time: how do you do it? How do you blog and have a family and craft and volunteer and make dinner and bake and garden and blah blah blah. Quick answer: I don’t. I don’t have time for a blog. I don’t have any magic balancing answers either. I don’t want to build this big illusion that my life is all pretty and roses because it’s not. It’s a good life, but I’m just a hustlin’ like every one else. Trust me. It pains me when I hear people say how perfect my life appears…because it’s not. I’ve even had ‘friends’ tell me they can’t read my blog anymore because it makes them feel bad about themselves. Ummmm what? First of all that’s the exact opposite of what I want to achieve with my blog. And second of all I’m just a regular gal, with regular stuff.
See the nice thing about a blog is that everything looks all nice and tidy. On a blog there are no socks on the floor, no dishes in the sink, no dirty carpets, no kids crying or talking your ear off, no stray chin hairs, or bad hair days or cranky days. It’s just a nice tidy space. And that’s how I see my blog. It’s an escape for me…a place for me to be an adult, to share my love of cooking & homemaking. To be me. In a nice tidy clean space. Nobody needs to see my messy house.
The good thing with my blog and my real life is that most of the things I blog about I’m doing and love anyway. We eat, so I take pictures of a good recipe. I garden and put out flowers, and decorate for the holidays, so I snap more pictures. And I share them in the hopes of inspiring someone to look at their life a little differently…to see that you can make a delicious and easy recipe for your family, or maybe get inspired to paint that office that’s been the same colour for 20 years… But behind the scenes, believe me when I say I’m pretty sure things around here are relatable to your many of your lives. I struggle with what to make for dinner. I struggle with how and what to feed my kids. My bathrooms always need cleaning. There are always piles of laundry needing to be washed or put away. There are family issues. Marriage issues. Health issues. Kid issues. There’s that feeling that I can always be doing something better.
And you know life…it just gets in the way, and I can’t do it all so I won’t. I try, but really it’s all about balance, and I’m still learning how to balance everyday. But the problem with life and balance is that things are always changing. Just when you get some routine down pat, or one problem solved there’s another one waiting just around the corner. So really balance for me, is learning to let go of a lot of things and to go with the flow. And I won’t feel bad for it. I don’t strive for perfection…it’s not possible and it’s an unfair goal to work towards. Honestly I strive for happiness. I want to be happy, and most importantly I want my little family of 5 to be happy.
Learning to be happy has meant for me, to let go of a lot things. Simplify…remember my word of the year. This word runs through my head on a daily basis. It shapes what I do. Before I consider anything I ask myself will this be a good thing for my family? Will a project I’m considering complicate my life? Or will it open doors and create opportunity? Are the friends & family around me adding to my life or just creating stress? This year is a lesson in saying no. That’s how I do it.
I am learning to do what works for us, for me. I will not feel guilty that I can’t volunteer at my kids schools as much as I would like. I just can’t, we don’t have family around to help with my kids on a daily basis. I will not feel guilty that my house isn’t spotless anymore, this is now a family effort. I will not feel guilty if we end up eating out a few times more than I would like. Or that I feed my kids white bread and hot dogs for dinner once in a while. Everything in moderation I say.
And as far as my blog goes, I will not feel guilty for saying no to 95% of the opportunities that come my way. I just won’t feel guilty. Because somewhere in all that I have to be true to me, and at the same time keep my blog authentic. And this is a lot harder to deal with than one might think. I’ve had some fantastic opportunities come my way and for that I am so grateful. But the balancing act for me with blogging is how to keep things authentic while at the same time viewing my blog as a growing business. Which leads me to the other side of the coin: I won’t feel guilty if my blog takes a new direction, or I accept a sponsored opportunity or I say yes to an amazing product. I need to pay the bills just like everyone else.
And while I’m doing all that for my blog, how do I make sure that my family and myself don’t get neglected in the process. Because blogging, as wonderful as it is, is a tonne of work. A tonne. And I love it or obviously I just wouldn’t do it. Blogging has saved my sanity and made me feel like a person again. I love being a mom and wife, but in there somewhere I’m my own person too. And blogging has given me the opportunity to find my passion in life…so because of that I can’t see letting my blog go anywhere anytime soon. I just work on keeping a balance. Every day.
So back to the original question…how do I do it? I just do. I find the time. I make it happen because I have to or want to. Everyone has something that takes up their time and passion. For some, it’s working full time outside the home, or staying at home with kids. Others commit time to going to the gym, to scrapbooking, to travelling, to shopping, to volunteering, or to doing all of the above. We all just do what we can with the time we have. And like with everything else, not everything is going to get done the way you imagine or want it to. And for me, this is such a learning process. I do it all by not doing it all…and by that I mean you pick and choose your battles. Blog post to write…I carve out the time. My kid wants to wear a rainbow coloured outfit to the mall…whatever. School lunches need to be made, my kids make them, every day. Too tired to make dinner tonite…let’s order in…whatever. The house is a pit…get everyone to pitch in…it’s all of our duty as members of our family. We do it all together.
We don’t need to do it all. And we certainly don’t need to do it all by ourselves. You do what you can. You do what works for you. Good enough sometimes, is just good enough. And that’s good enough.